When I was little, my family used to spend our Friday nights going to the local Blockbuster. Between the five of us, each person got to choose a movie to borrow. It was the highlight of our week, and we would spend over an hour meticulously picking up different movies off the shelves, reading the blurbs, checking who was in each film, until we found exactly what we wanted to watch over the weekend. Movies were a serious business for my family, and at that time, movies took themselves quite seriously too.
Art Imitates Life
I still love a good movie, but lately, I’ve noticed a trend: a lack of sincerity in the films we see today. I watched a video by The Cozy Kino Show that explains this well, but the gist is that films these days often have a ‘meta’ or sarcastic layer. They aim to show the audience how clever, witty, and self-aware they are. As a result, they don’t take themselves too seriously, which can stop the audience from becoming deeply invested in the characters and the story. It’s like someone holding up a giant sign that says: “Hey, don’t get too invested, it’s just a movie.”
Because of this, we no longer get iconic (even if cringey) moments like Hilary Duff’s monologue in A Cinderella Story: “Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.” We also don’t get many sweeping epics like The Lord of the Rings, where you’re expected to invest time and energy in the story and the characters.
You might be thinking it’s not really a loss, but this kind of sincerity helped people embrace their uniqueness and express their identity. In a culture with such progressive views on identity, it’s a surprise that this doesn’t extend to all aspects of our identity and person. I was shocked by the number of times I heard my young students mutter to one another, “that’s cringe… you’re cooked.” In our social media-addicted world and with growing awareness of our digital footprints, there’s an unattainable standard of perfection: always looking flawless, never saying the wrong thing, and only liking things that are considered acceptable at an acceptable emotional distance. Ultimately, it seems people are censoring themselves to appear perfect.
The Price of Perfectionism
In a journal article published in the International Journal of Qualitative Studies on Health and Well-being, the authors found that our personal identity is shaped by our choices, action and agency alongside how we handle and accept uncontrollable life events, existential anxieties and our limitations The authors also found that perfectionism can act as a defence mechanism against existential anxiety and vulnerability in relationships. Ironically, this drive for perfection can foster loneliness, because what people truly crave is authenticity.
While self-control is important, stripping down who we are at the expense of sincerity is a concerning trend. When we’re insincere, our relationships become shallow. Trust becomes harder. Communication is veiled. Even our experiences lose their depth, as we become more focused with how we are perceived rather than just living.
How Can We Help Our Students To Embrace Sincerity?
Growing up today isn’t easy. It can feel like everyone is watching all the time. Videos go viral, and anyone could pull out their phone to record what you say or do. This is especially tough for students who are still learning who they are, making mistakes, seeking belonging, and figuring out what they believe. So how can we help students embrace sincerity? Here are a few suggestions:
- Encourage open and honest classroom discussions. Not everyone will agree, but by emphasising respectful dialogue, students are more likely to feel safe being themselves.
- Make your classroom a no-phone zone. While this is already standard in many schools, staying vigilant can help remove the pressure of being recorded or uploaded.
- Use hooks, icebreakers and activities that promote connection. Help students discover their differences and similarities, and affirm moments when students show vulnerability or honesty.
- Practice short mindfulness sessions. Research shows mindfulness can build self-awareness and emotional regulation, reducing the fear of being perceived or judged.
At the end of the day sincerity isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength that can lead to excellence.
“As long as you remain true to yourself and continue training with sincerity, nobody can stop you from achieving excellence.” Milkha Singh
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!